Click on the link above for a powerful Valentine’s Day talk by Esther Perel on reconciling the erotic and the domestic, which neatly summarises her teaching in “Mating in Captivity”. Highly recommended.
I’ve been wondering how much fun, life-affirming, relationship-bonding sex doesn’t happen, because folks simply don’t know how to proposition their significant others.
Once lovers get past the “it just happens” phase and are into the “intentional sex” stage of a sexual relationship (the normal situation for any long term relationship, where you have to do something to make it happen), my guess is that many people feel anxious actually getting the words out. Certainly, it comes up as an issue in my consulting room often enough.
So I’ve put together a few suggested ways of raising sex, ranging from cheesy to fun to romantic. Of course, this definitely comes under the category of horses for courses – what feels sexy to one person may sound daft to another. I’ve kept the words themselves reasonably clean because of who could see this post, but please feel free to substitute more earthy words if they work for you! And remember, practice makes perfect 🙂
Shall we have sex?
Fancy some hanky panky / afternoon delight / how’s your father / slap and tickle?
I really want to make love with you.
You could have me if you play your cards right!
Do you want to get naked?
I really want to do you right now.
I really want to be inside you.
Let’s make love.
Shall we fool around?
It’s been ages since we connected – how about getting naked with me and we’ll see what happens?
Fancy a bit of the other?
How about it?
Do you want some?
Do you remember that thing we used to do called sex? (nb. remember to make this playful, not sarcastic)
Would you like some action?
I would love to feel you inside me.
Are you using your penis, or could I borrow it for a while?
I’m feeling up for it – how about you?
Do you want to get laid / make out / have some nookie?
I feel sure I’ve only scratched the surface here (so to speak). Would anyone like to suggest other ways of initiating sex with words?